Help! I've Lost My Kids to the Internet!

Children on their devices.

I have allowed the Internet to steal my children away. I have no idea when all of this took place. I do, however, know that it crept in like a thief in the night connecting my children to distant friends, relatives, and maybe even strangers via social media. This prowler is good for providing intriguing games that allows my son to interact in ‘real time’ with his peers. This robber is known for showing my young daughter hilarious guinea pig, cat, and dog videos, as well as, offering ‘how to’ videos for ‘this, and ‘that.’ The Internet is brilliant at helping my oldest daughter with math problems and vocabulary words when I can’t.

Yes, it’s true. I have allowed the Internet to become my children’s teacher and confidant; it even verbally communicates with them in the form of Siri and Alexa. It’s like an extension of their being, becoming extremely uncomfortable when separation occurs.

Some of my best allies: chores, homework, and quality time have had to fade to the background because of this crook. And good ole ‘quality time’ often fights to resurface again and again; sadly, it’s no match for the Internet. For example, even when we try karaoke and family game night, the Internet slowly seeps back in with a ‘notification’ here and a ‘ring tone’ there. One child hops off the couch to check a device, then another, and another, and before you know it, the Internet is right there in the middle of our ‘quality’ time. At that point, no one is singing karaoke, but me.

So the question is, what do parents do to take back their children? The answer: When an oppressor violates your home and abducts your love-ones, there is only one thing left to do: you pull the plug. You can call it homicide. You can call it murder. I call it, Wi-Fi Kicked the Bucket.

There will be withdrawal symptoms for all involved, but you do what you have to do to rescue your children. They’re worth it, and they will thank you in the end.

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